Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.
Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.
pro cilantro and anti cilantro
Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”
No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.
Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is
Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG
I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity
“Hey guys Steve Johnson just laughed at my antennae he’s edible ok?”
“Yum yum Steve ribs”
cool cool cool but some people – definitely the younger generations – would for sure take offense if they weren’t deemed edible
like ‘you wanna eat steve but not me? what the fuck did I do’
The thing about Those White People Baby Names is the way they so poetically express the tension between individuality and rigid conformity. These parents all want to name their child something unique, because they value the concept of uniqueness, yet simultaneously they abhor it in practice… ergo, 30 different spelling variations on the most normative possible names. This homogeneity-masquerading-as-diversity is inseparable from capitalist consumer culture and in fact is directly analogous to the experience of walking into a grocery store and being asked to “choose” between 50 varieties of toothpaste with the same exact ingredients, 12 brands of laundry detergent, etc.
“oh hi. this is my 18 month old, Laundry Detergent. it’s pronounced L’Andrew de Target.”
“he’s named after his father and the place where he was conceived”
Today my professor told me every cell in our entire body is destroyed and replaced every seven years. How comforting it is to know that one day I will have a body that you will have never touched.
This just made me feel so warm.
thank you.
Important especially for victims of abuse, remember your body is yours and it heals in more ways than you realize.
Okay, so I just want to say that this isn’t necessarily true. Most of your cells have died and regrown several times in seven years, but some haven’t, and some have died and won’t return. The seven year cell renewal is a myth perpetuated by popsci in magazines everywhere.
That being said, anywhere they may have touched you, your skin, your hair, your nails and so on, was changing the moment they departed your life, even before that. Your skin became skin they’ve never touched within 27 days. Your hair grows (on average) six inches per year, so depending on how long yours is, you were rid of their touch there within a few years tops. Your nails will completely regrow within six months tops. You were a body they never touched within three or four years. You will be a body they never touched within three or four years.
You have been rewriting your body, you are your own, you are constantly changing, and you are the only one who owns your body 100% of the time.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were at my house party and all they did was stand in the corner and blink in sync with each other. At one point I saw Mary-Kate put a cigarette to her mouth and take a long drag, then Ashley blew out the smoke.
When u look at OP but this time it’s not one-time-i-dreamt
IF YOU ARE IN THE U.S. AND DON’T SIGN UP FOR A HEALTHCARE PLAN BY THE 15TH / TOMORROW, YOU WON’T BE ELIGIBLE TO SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER YEAR.
Call 1-800-318-2596 any time before December 15 & your place will be held in line. You will get a call back after 12/15 and can still enroll!!!
SHARE / SIGNAL BOOST TO STOP THE 1% FROM KILLING OFF CITIZENS BY DENYING THEM HEALTHCARE FOR 365 DAYS. THEY CHANGED THE DATE AND DIDN’T ADVERTISE THE DEADLINE.
JahLoveAngel 